And I’m glad you’re on the verge of bankruptcy. This is the story of the ridiculousness that I went through over the course of three months with American Apparel…

Our story begins on December 13, 2010, when Groupon offered up an American Apparel deal: $25 for $50 worth of stuff. SOLD!

I had never bought anything from American Apparel before, but had browsed through their stores in Toronto, Halifax and Orlando. While I could appreciate their whole “sweatshop free, made in America” mantra, I still felt the clothes were overpriced for what they were and thus never bought anything. But at half price? Surely there was something I could find.

On January 1, 2011, when everything else was closed for New Year’s Day, I shopped around the AA website and settled on two items. First was the Shiny Too-Short Tube Dress in gold lamé (I’m not linking it, go look it up yourself). You may recognize that description as what Sam is wearing in this photo to the right.

The second item was the Stretch Floral Lace Long Sleeve Thong Bodysuit (item RSALS310 – this will be important later).The only photo I have of this is not my own, as you’ll soon find out why, so the illustration to the left is from the AA website.

At the time I ordered, the Lace Bodysuit was out of stock, so the items would be shipped separately. A couple days later, on January 3rd, I got notification that the Tube Dress shipped. The next day, the Lace Bodysuit shipped. Woot! Faster than I expected. The Tube Dress arrived a few days later, it was perfect, and I put it to use with Samantha just a few days after that.

The Lace Bodysuit arrived on January 8th. Except they sent me the wrong product. Instead of RSALS310, I got RSALS302, which the website describes as a Stretch Floral Lace Bodysuit. Doesn’t sound a lot different, but there are two distinct differences. What they sent me was full-bottomed instead of thong, and was sleeveless instead of sleeved. I was invoiced for the correct product but sent the wrong one. So I headed over to the website and filled in their online contact form to report the mix up. And then I waited.

And waited.

Aaaaaand waited.

Nearly two weeks later, January 20th, I still hadn’t heard anything. I had a model all lined up who was patiently waiting to wear this bodysuit for a shoot. So this time I called American Apparel’s office in Quebec and spoke with someone named Maryse. I explained to Maryse that I had received the wrong item and that my email to them went ignored. She offered to email me a shipping label so that I could send the product back and have it replaced with the correct item. “Here’s what you have to do,” she began, “Do you still have the invoice? Yes? Good. Okay, so I need you to get a pen. And then you’re going to write on the invoice, ‘Wrong item received. Please replace with RSALS310, size small, black.’ And then put the invoice in the package that you mail back to us. Did you get that? Do you need me to repeat it?”

Um, what? An enormous multi-million dollar international corporation deals with shipping errors via handwritten notes? SERIOUSLY? There’s no computerized method for this? Wow. Flabbergasted, I pointed this out to her, and she just calmly explained that this was the normal procedure. So I did as she said and popped the package in the mail.

And I waited.

And waited.

Aaaaaaand waited.

Four weeks go by. I notice via my online banking that I was issued a refund for $20.28, which was the value of the product after the Groupon had been applied. But why? I didn’t ask for a refund. I wanted the product I ordered. I waited another week. Finally on February 28th, I emailed Maryse to ask where my item was. On March 1st (speedy for them), I received an email from a different rep, Jaclyn, who had no knowledge of the situation:

“I was forwarded an email from you regarding your replacement. I have on file that your refund was completed on February 23^rd, however I do not have anything on file for a replacement. If you could please indicate which item you were supposed to have received I will make sure that it is issued to you immediately.”

 

I was also offered a 15% discount on my next online order for the inconvenience, which would have to be applied manually  by an “online agent” whom I would have to contact. After using their contact form last time and getting no response, this was a completely useless offer for me.

Two months have elapsed since my order was placed, it still hasn’t been filled correctly, the rep I’m dealing with has no idea what I’m talking about, and I’ve been offered a paltry 15% discount that I have to jump through hoops to get. Got all that?

I replied to Jaclyn on March 3rd and explained my situation for the third time (first being online, second being to Maryse). I recapped everything in detail, including how perplexed I was by their handwritten exchange process, and even included a website link to the product that I ordered and should have received.

On March 4th, Jaclyn apologized and noted that, “to do an exchange, we begin by issuing the refund and then we ship out the new item and bill the credit card again.” Why? Is that not just a whole lot of extra work for people in the accounting department? Why not just send me the item I paid for? She closed the email by saying my item would be sent out “as soon as possible.” Not today. Not now. As soon as possible. Whatever that means.

On March 8th, I received a package from American Apparel in the mail. Guess what was inside? The exact same item they sent me the first time, which I had sent back to them. I once again received RSALS302 instead of RSALS310. On a whim, I checked my online banking and was shocked to discover a charge of $56.50 from AA, despite the fact that it was only $20.28 to begin with. So I’m now nine weeks into this mess, I still have the wrong product, and they’ve charged me nearly triple what I initially paid.

I fired off an angry email to Jaclyn, where I described in meticulous detail the differences between the product I had and the one I ordered. I also made it clear that I should not have to explain their own products to their employees. I closed with this:

“It is evident that neither you nor Maryse are capable of seeing out this problem to its correct conclusion, so who at your company can make sure my order is ACCURATELY filled, at the correct price, and in a timely manner?”

One week passes.

No, I’m not kidding. My order has been screwed up beyond belief for nine weeks at this point and American Apparel chooses to ignore my email. For another week.

I send another email on March 15th, demanding to know what the status of my order is.

Later that morning I get an email from someone named Nathalie, who is the manager of the customer service department. So for those keeping score: ten weeks, three different people, problem still not solved. Let’s see what Nathalie has to say.

“I have been forwarded your case as you do not wish to speak with either of my customer service representatives.”

Um, what? I asked who could solve my problem since they were incompetent. At no point did I refuse to speak with them. And how does this justify waiting a week to respond to me?

She agreed that my experience had been a horrible one, but noted, “the error was not on Maryse nor Jaclyn’s part. The error is an error made by the shipping department.”

Riiiight. So the shipping department ignored my email from January 9th? The shipping department is the one who charged my credit card nearly triple? The shipping department is the one who ignored my subsequent emails? The shipping department is the one who promised to rectify the situation and make sure I got the correct product? No. Customer service, specifically Maryse and Jaclyn, had those responsibilities. And Nathalie, the head of customer service, is now passing the blame to a faceless “shipping department”. Despicable.

She continued, “not only am I working to rectify the situation as soon as possible, but I have as well forwarded your concerns to our head office in Los Angeles.”

Oh really? Guess what I’ve heard from Los Angeles since then? Nada. They’re too busy filing for bankruptcy protection, I guess.

And there, once again, is the promised time frame of “as soon as possible”. Looks like they’re all reading from the same playbook.

“How could we serve you better? If you wish I could oversee that the correct item is shipped out to you, such that we can avoid this error from re-occurring in the future.”

Wow. Really? I’ve made it clear time and time again to these people that I want the product I ordered… and they’re still asking me if I want the product I ordered? And then asking how to serve me better? I worked in retail for ten years. This woman has no business even dressing herself in the morning, never mind being head of customer service.

Nathalie closes her email by offering the same 15% discount that I was offered before. Previously, it was a mild annoyance, now it’s just down right insulting. I replied to Nathalie and said as much. Why would I want to order from AA again after this experience?

The next day, March 16th, I get an inexplicable email from Maryse, who hasn’t been involved with this process since the beginning:

 

“Your e-mail has been forwarded to the online department with success. I hope they reply to you as soon as possible. Have a wonderful day!”

 

She’s so out of the loop at this point it makes my head hurt.

A few minutes later, I get another email from someone named Lisa, sent from her iPhone. Person number four on my case.

“Someone get back to this client ASAP.”

 

Now I really have no idea what’s going on.

Two hours later, one final insulting email from Nathalie followed.

“After consulting with my online representatives, they did exactly as they were told to do.”

 

I hope you all find that as amusing as I do.

“I apologize for the delay in the return of your message as I was away from the office, and the online representatives were under the impression that you did not want their service, from your previous email.”

 

Fine. I understand where they were coming from. But in one week, no one was able to say to me, “Hey Ryan, our manager is away and will get back to you on March 15th”?

She offered to correct the charges to my credit card and to personally hand-pick the correct item from the warehouse. She then asked for the incorrect item to be sent back with the “attached” return slip. Except there was nothing attached. One final, stupid, annoying, screw up from the people who can’t do anything right. The instructions were to place the item in a box (why? they shipped it to me in a bag) with the invoice. On the invoice I was to indicate that I was overcharged and sent the wrong item. So now we’re back to the handwritten notes.

The last line of her email indicated it would take two weeks to correct my credit card without any further explanation.

During the final week of March, I finally received the correct product. A few days later, on March 29th, my credit card was properly adjusted.

The end.

And you know what would have made this whole process so much easier for everyone involved? If, on January 8th when I received the incorrect product, I could have walked into my local AA store and exchanged it on the spot. But AA’s policies prohibit exchanging online orders in store, despite so many other retailers working this way.